The thunder and lightening and ridiculous rain outside make this a perfect time for these thoughts...

1. I always thought college - the educational part - would be this exciting time where a new world of knowledge would be revealed to me and I would be constantly inspired and eager to learn. Unfortunately, it's so far from what I imagined. I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm doing in this standardized institution that fits so neatly into my formulaic life. Since coming to Spain, I've only just begun to believe again that education can be something that I am excited about. I'm taking a class on the history of cinema and, though it counts for nothing on my transcript, it's the only class that I genuinely enjoy. I think Spain is some kind of escape from the educationally monotonous UCSD.

2. I'm beginning to feel like everything is some shade of gray. Every year older I get, I lose one more layer of simplicity.

3. "I'm sorry" are the sweetest words I know. I don't say them enough, and they never get old.

4. Old school worship songs are like a breath of fresh air.

5. I'm losing sight of the end again.

"Hear me, my people, and I will warn you - if only you would listen to me, Israel!
You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not worship any god other than me.
I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt.
OPEN WIDE YOUR MOUTH AND I WILL FILL IT." - Psalm 81:8-10

I am so ready to LISTEN - to get rid of ALL the foreign gods that I love to worship and give my attention to. How many times do I have to experience the mediocre quality of everything outside of Him? I've heard that sometimes when you don't like a quality in someone else, it's because you subconsciously identify it in yourself. Reading through the Old Testament makes me just despise the Israelites, but a look at my life shouts that I AM THE ISRAELITES. The thing I love though, is that God offers a love that doesn't depend on my worthiness. I am covered in that LOVE. So, here is to endless chances start afresh and to a Savior who has arms wide open.